In the helping professions, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. When stress piles up, it’s common to pull away from others as a form of self-protection. Many people experience a sense of isolation when nearing burnout. This isn't necessarily about being physically alone; it's about the feeling of being disconnected from those around us.
When I hit the peak of burnout, I remember feeling incredibly lonely. I was surrounded by people, yet I still felt disconnected. I had been working so tirelessly to serve those in need that I ended up neglecting my own. In my healing, I had to learn how to ask for help, to open up, and—most importantly—to find a sisterhood of helpers who understood my struggles without judgment. They helped me reconnect with my common humanity. I wasn’t alone, and I didn’t have to carry the burden by myself. It was through connection that I found the strength to carry on in my career in a more sustainable way.
So maybe you can relate - when stress is high, connection often feels like the first thing that falls off our to-do list. You’re running on fumes, deadlines are looming, and your inbox is overflowing. It can be hard to prioritize community-building when everything else feels urgent, but community is exactly what will help you stay afloat.
Understanding Connection and the Nervous System
Our nervous system, built to protect us, works in stages. The first is about immobilization (freeze), the second is fight-or-flight, and the third is the most recent evolutionary response: connection. This third response, known as the ventral vagal system, helps us feel safe through social interactions, which are fundamental to emotional regulation. When we don’t feel connected, we enter a state where our ability to cope with stress is compromised. And this is where burnout, compassion fatigue, and emotional exhaustion can take root.
Imagine it like this: when we’re feeling overwhelmed, our body’s first instinct is to protect itself. Sometimes, we do this by “shutting down,” like a turtle retreating into its shell. Other times, we feel the urge to flee or fight, like a fish darting away from danger or a dog barking to signal "back off". But here’s the thing: our most effective tool for healing and resilience is connection. It’s through social engagement—talking, laughing, and sharing—that our bodies calm down and reset.
Humans are wired for connection. Our ancestors survived by being part of a group, relying on each other for support, protection, and care. That’s still true today. When we are part of a community, we feel safer, more secure, and more resilient. But when we lack that connection, or when our connections feel shallow or unsupportive, we struggle.
Understanding the intricacies of our nervous system and its responses not only sheds light on our individual experiences of stress and connection but also emphasizes the importance of nurturing our relationships and fostering community. By prioritizing social bonds and emotional support, we can help mitigate the adverse effects of stress and enhance our overall well-being, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace.
Building Connections
Building a sense of connection within your team or community can dramatically impact your emotional health. Here’s how to start:
Identify Your Current Connections: Look around you—who in your life do you feel truly connected to? Not just on the surface, but on a deeper, emotional level. These are the people who "get it." They offer the support you need to recharge. If you’re missing this, start by identifying where you can create or nurture these kinds of connections.
Create Regular, Predictable Opportunities for Connection: Sometimes, we don’t make space for connection because we think it will be too time-consuming or emotionally draining. But even small moments matter. You don’t have to plan weekly group therapy sessions or long meetings... A 10-minute check-in with a colleague, a weekly coffee date with a friend, or even sending a supportive text can work wonders.
The Power of Co-Regulation: One of the most healing things we can do for ourselves and others is practice co-regulation. This is the process of soothing and balancing each other’s nervous systems through shared moments of connection. Whether it’s through a shared laugh, a calm conversation, or even just listening to someone tell a story about their day, co-regulation helps both of you feel more grounded and less overwhelmed.
Peer Support
Research has shown that peer support is one of the most effective ways to reduce burnout and vicarious trauma. By fostering relationships with fellow helpers, we can create a network of support that allows us to share our burdens, exchange ideas, and find solace in knowing that we are part of a larger collective effort. Research consistently shows that workers with a sense of community (who feel they have psychological and social support) tend to experience higher job satisfaction and greater job commitment and involvement, which, in turn, can help them deal with stress more effectively.
Engaging in community-building activities, whether through formal support groups or informal gatherings, can provide a much-needed outlet for our emotions and can help us recharge. Additionally, supporting one another can lead to collaborative approaches to care, where we can share resources, strategies, and insights that enhance our ability to serve our clients effectively. In this way, we can transform the weight of our responsibilities into a shared endeavor, lifting each other up while also ensuring that we maintain our own health and resilience.
So, how can we foster community in our busy, high-stress jobs? Here are a few ideas I’ve seen work wonders:
Team Debriefs and Check-Ins: Some teams schedule regular debrief sessions to talk about the challenges they’ve faced without focusing too much on the details of the work itself. This allows colleagues to check in emotionally and share how they’re doing. It’s not about unloading trauma—it’s about creating a space where it’s okay to say, “This was hard, and I need to process it.”
Peer Mentorship Programs: Pairing up experienced team members with newer staff can be a game-changer. It provides a support system where colleagues can lean on each other for advice, guidance, and emotional support. Plus, it builds trust and camaraderie within the team.
Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability: The most powerful relationships are often the ones where vulnerability is encouraged. One team I worked with started a monthly “Vulnerability Circle,” where members could share personal stories—either work-related or not—and be met with empathy and understanding. There was no judgment—just shared humanity.
Celebrate Wins Together: Sometimes, we get so bogged down in the tough stuff that we forget to celebrate the wins, big or small. One team I know does something called “Win Wednesdays,” where they share personal or work-related wins at the start of their meetings. It might seem trivial, but taking time to acknowledge the good stuff boosts morale and strengthens team bonds.
Social Gatherings Outside of Work: If you can swing it, try organizing something informal outside of the office. Whether it’s a lunch, a hike, or just a coffee run, getting together in a low-stress environment can help build deeper relationships. Plus, it can be a great chance to laugh together—something that’s sorely needed in helping professions.
So, next time you’re feeling isolated or overwhelmed, remember that building community doesn’t have to be an extra burden. It can actually help ease the load. Whether you start with small, informal check-ins with your colleagues or push for more structured team-building activities, creating a sense of belonging will protect you from burnout and enhance your resilience.
After all, when we support each other, we become stronger together.
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